A Lifetime of Giving: A Reflection on Adoption
November is recognized as Adoption Awareness Month and if my kids were old enough, I’d have them write this instead of me because their voices are the ones that need to be heard and listened to. Until then, I’ll continue to do my best to keep learning, keep listening, and try my best to be the advocate they deserve and at the same time, protect their story and honor them.
There’s so much about being an adoptive family that is so complex and it’s not as simple as I so naively thought it would be when we initiated the paperwork for our first adoption.
Moore Family L to R: Evelyn, Ben, Jo, and Kirsten.
We see that, for God, adopting Israel and the elect was His plan before the foundation of the world. I also know that before the foundation of the world, He planned for Joshua Zhou Moore and Evelyn Yi Moore to be our son and daughter who were born on the other side of the world in China. If you stop there, it sounds rather nice and neat— but a part of that plan meant our children would know absolute abandonment, they would know the severing of all biological ties, they would know hunger, neglect, and major medical procedures without mommy and daddy to hold them through it. They would know survival tactics that no child should have to learn, they’d know that crying doesn’t bring anyone in to comfort and soothe them, they would know loss, trauma, pain… and that for me is still difficult to reconcile. With our son’s orphanage, especially— I honestly can’t talk about it (or write about it) without crying. God completely broke my heart for His children in that place. Everything that was “cute” and “sparkly” about adoption was replaced with the cruel reality of what it actually is. It took any sort of savior complex that I was still carrying and flushed it down the toilet because my inadequacy in this all was obvious and apparent and my need to fully rely on the person of the Holy Spirit, the one and only Savior was known more than I had ever known before. Carrying my son out of that orphanage forever felt like the most shattered hallelujah.
“Adoption is not about getting, it is about a lifetime of giving.”
Adoption is not about getting, it is about a lifetime of giving. It’s a marathon of walking tenderly with your children through the trauma, the triggers, the loss and the unexpected moments of grief… it’s a lot of failing and falling on His mercy. It’s recognizing and knowing His strength and grace and love and mercies are washing down upon us all as a family every. single. second. It’s seeing His grace in every little thing and when I feel like my love isn’t enough, knowing that His love is.
My kids did not choose anything or have any say in anything that happened to them. We have a choice in stepping up to the plate and making those incredibly precious souls our sons and our daughters… or—like we’ve experienced in an absolutely mind-blowing way— our church family stepping up to the plate and supporting us and helping us in every way get our children home. I love that Jo and Evelyn became members of our little Moore family and my heart bursts knowing that we have an even bigger family who loves them like they do whenever we walk through those doors of Garden City.
One of our favorite aspects of the Good News is something that we get: forever family. We see adoption with God choosing to make Israel His son. Paul explains this work further in Romans 8 & 9. In Galatians 4, Paul tells us:
[4] But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, [5] to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. [6] And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” [7] So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. - Galatians 4:4-7
If you are a Christian, you’ve likely heard about this adoption sons & daughters. How it’s not a metaphor to mean something else. Because of God’s work in Christ, we’re actually sons & daughters of God! And if that’s true, then we’re actually brothers and sisters to each other! And it’s a relationship that—praise God!—runs thicker than blood. When an orphan is adopted and grafted into a family, we see a re-enacting of this Gospel truth! What a joyful miracle it is to be loved by a good Father, and to be loved with and show love to so many other brothers & sisters in Christ!
Will Ben and I keep doing this? Like I always say, as long as God keeps telling us to go, we will go. With joy, with eagerness, with love, and with hearts ready to do battle for our children’s hearts and lives.